Don’t you hate it when you’re at the airport, ready to fly out, and TSA agents say you can’t bring your supermarket-grade meat slicer in your carry-on? Or your enormous lobster? Next time, better check the TSA’s Instagram account first for some travel tips.

The surprisingly amusing and wildly popular social media account of the government agency charged with keeping the skies safe is filled with absurd items that passengers attempt to get through security, paired with hilarious, often pun-filled captions about what is and isn’t allowed past checkpoints.

We have collected pics of the 50 oddest things people tried to sneak through TSA (from the instagram account) for you to enjoy.

1Some really shi*ty weed

Our team at Juneau International Airport (JNU) recently dealt with “nuggets” of a different variety when examining a passenger’s carry-on bag. Upon inspection, a large organic mass turned out to be a bag of moose nuggets (or feces, droppings, excrements, etc.) that the passenger was taking home from their Alaskan adventure. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀


2Close shave

This old-school straight razor, discovered in a carry-on bag at Lehigh Valley International Airport, could place the owner in danger of missing a shave. If you plan to pack a razor in your carry-on luggage, please make sure it's of the disposable, cartridge or electric variety. Straight razors or safety razors must be packed in checked luggage


3The sharp stow

We're big fans of April Fools' Day and the pranks that people pull. The rubber snake in a desk drawer is always a classic. What's less-than-funny is when you replace 'rubber snake' with a knife, and 'desk drawer' with a carry-on bag. An example is this artfully-concealed knife that was placed inside a bottle of liquid antacid. The sharp stowaway was discovered by our officers at Springfield-Branson National Airport


4

This traveler was obviously a fan of two cinematic genres – cowboy westerns and samurai movies — and decided to pack accordingly for a flight from Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport


5

Obviously, there is something fishy about this knife. The real point is that this knife, discovered at an airport security checkpoint, should have been packed in a checked bag. If you are planning to travel with a knife, place it in a suitcase that you plan on checking with your air carrier. And make sure it's in a case or securely wrapped to prevent any injuries


6

Son o’ a biscuit eater! Someone in Atlanta stowed a flintlock in his carry-on duffle


7Funny stun gun

One might say this traveler went off half-cocked when packing this knife in his carry-on bag. We know you’re expecting us to say something funny about the stun gun. We’re not going to. Shocking, we know


8

In the novel, The Call of the Wild, a dog named Buck is stolen from his home and sold as a sled dog in Alaska, where he must learn to survive the harsh winter conditions. This knife, discovered at the security checkpoint at Central Nebraska Regional Airport (GRI), could inspire one to take a similar journey into the wilderness. If you are packing for your own Yukon trek, please remember to remove all knives from your carry-on luggage. While knives may not be carried through the security checkpoint (except for plastic or round bladed butter knives), they may be packed in checked bags


9Sword was discovered at BLV

This sword was discovered at the security checkpoint at MidAmerica St. Louis Airport (BLV). While we appreciate the fact that the blade was carefully wrapped, knives and swords are prohibited from being brought into the aircraft cabin


10 Ginormous ceremonial ribbon cutting scissors

Please don’t get snippy when our officers tell you that you can’t pack these ginormous ceremonial ribbon cutting scissors in your carry-on


11Speargun

This speargun was discovered recently in a Houston (HOU) traveler’s carry-on bag. Maybe he was heading to Amity Island for the 4th


12 Bullet-shaped whiskey stones

What you see here are bullet-shaped whiskey stones. Once chilled, they keep your whiskey cold without watering it down as ice cubes would. Anyhoo, whiskey stones are fine to pack in carry-on bags, but not when they look like live bullets


13Shotgun

Traveling with a shotgun in a checked golf bag isn’t par for the course. While firearms are permitted in checked bags, there are guidelines that need to be followed


14The saws pictured here were discovered recently in a carry-on bag at the Hollywood Burbank Airport (BUR)


15Gloves

Freddy lost his glove at the Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport (ATL). He got burned after forgetting to take it off before going through the TSA checkpoint


16 Designed to look exactly like an improvised explosive device

The item you see pictured here is designed to look exactly like an improvised explosive device (IED). This is why after our officer spotted it on the X-ray image, six checkpoint lanes were immediately closed. Travelers were moved to a safe distance to keep them out of harm’s way while the Port Authority Police, TSA explosives experts, and the Essex County Bomb Squad responded to ensure that the item was inert. Hundreds of travelers were inconvenienced. The man carrying the IED in his carry-on bag was traveling to Florida to participate in a training event focused on X-ray detection of explosive devices. He knew full well that the inert IED he was transporting was a test item that was built and designed to mimic a fully-assembled bomb when viewed on an X-ray monitor. He should have known better than to bring an inert IED to an active TSA checkpoint. He was arrested by Port Authority Police


17Chainsaws

Today’s picture dates back to 2014 when a traveler tried to bring a chainsaw through the checkpoint at the Albany International Airport (ALB). We’re not exactly sure why. Zombie defense, perhaps? Lumberjack goals


18Raphael was on his way

Raphael was so excited when he heard he could carry on a pepperoni and pickles pizza that he forgot all about his twin sai. Raph was on his way to an all you can beat buffet. They were discovered in a carry-on bag at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport (IAH). Martial arts weapons (if legal to possess where you’re traveling) must be packed in checked bags only


19Wedding gifts

These dapper inert grenades were wedding gifts for groomsmen. They were discovered in a checked bag at the Newark Liberty International Airport


20Contraband

This contraband was discovered in a traveler’s carry-on bag along with their knife at the George Bush Intercontinental Airport (IAH). All knives - no matter how small - must be packed in checked baggage


21These were discovered in a checked bag at Hawaii’s Lihue Airport. A box of inert replica rocket-propelled grenade launchers


22All knives, no matter their size, are prohibited

All knives, no matter their size, are prohibited from being brought onto an aircraft with your carry-on items. If you’re traveling with a knife, it must be packed in your checked bag. This knife was discovered in a carry-on bag at the Chicago O’Hare International Airport (ORD)


23Grill

Did you forget your grill at the Dulles (IAD) Airport checkpoint? Well, fret no more! We have a lost and found team standing by to reunite you with your fronts


24Nunchucks

These nunchucks should have their own infomercial. When you’re not impressing people with your Nunchuck Skills, you could use these handy dandy glow-in-the-dark nunchucks to direct traffic! Light up your tent! You could even guide an aircraft to the runway! But wait, there’s more! They’re perfect for karate in the garage. Take them to a rave and you can dance and protect yourself at the same time! These were discovered in a traveler’s carry-on bag at the San Antonio International Airport (SAT)


25Bottle of rice wine

This bottle of rice wine was discovered in a checked bag after an alarm at the Ontario International Airport (ONT). Liquids in larger quantities are permitted in checked bags. Neither the cobra nor the scorpion was alive, or on the endangered list, so this was permitted to fly. Well, there you have it. That’s one way to get a snake on a plane

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